never really experienced loneliness to begin with let alone be journey in the path of solitude
I have lived in a metropolitan city of India for 26 years before I moved to UK and then later on to the USA. Everyday in my life back in India used to be very busy.
I have a big family back there. My school, work, family and friends, hobbies, social life etc. always kept me busy round the clock. The city and people around me had a big influence in making me an independent and bold girl at a very young age. Never did I have a calm, lone time spent that I can recall of. Only time I would be all by myself most of the days were when I am dead tired and sleeping in the night. I was someone who thought I could never be alone all by myself as I never had to in the buzz of a busy city.
But over the years after moving out from my comfort zone, culture, family and friends I realized ‘SOLITUDE‘ was different from ‘Loneliness’. In the past I never really experienced loneliness to begin with let alone be journey in the path of solitude. At least in my case, to get away from loneliness I started exploring a whole new world where I spend hours doing something I love , all by myself.
And now I am at a stage where I enjoy cooking couple of hours with music being played out loud or indulge in a cup of tea sitting in my balcony with thoughts and memories flowing in or meditate in a dark space with a blank mind or paint something or simply stroll around a new city or a place. I don’t know if this solitude. But what I do know is it isn’t loneliness and I am enjoying every bit of it.
In the above picture, I am onlooking a frozen lake at a resort I stayed over this winter. Though I wasn’t alone when this was snapped, I can relate how I feel about being alone and content with this picture. Hence sharing with you all with a question in mind ‘ Can loneliness lead to solitude if worked on it positively?’
Have a great weekend !
But awestruck about the world we enter in our sleep. Its crazy, complex, impractical . Yet feels so real.
Its been only couple of days that I started blogging but its bringing back to me so many fond memories. So, today, thought of sharing few things that I wrote about in the past and it kind of stayed with me forever. And the best part is after effects and laughter that came along with every experience.
1. Novelist in me came alive when I was bed ridden due to a ligament tear. To kill my boredom, I ended up writing 20 page long imaginary story :P. No, I wasn’t crazy but just high on painkillers.
After effect : Reading this 20 page long story to my friend is what stays with me forever. The laughter, teases, embarrassment that followed the narration was simply priceless 🙂
2. Almost 9 years ago, I started dating this not so expressive, angry young man. Being a short tempered and sensitive person myself, I did not want to lose my cool and regret it later as most of the times I was the one being silly or over reacting. So I jotted down all my complaints in a book. The book only had curses, disagreements and nagging statements.
After effect : Over the time we were in a long distance relationship sorts of arrangement. Before moving out of the city, I handed the book to him to read and have a good laugh at how silly I was .(Imagine someone getting to read a book full of complaints about oneself) I am not too sure how he felt about it till date. Few things are best if kept unknown…….or hell with it, I will ask my husband today how he felt 9 years ago. Yes, we are married now and nothing can be a secret anymore 😛
3. I used to get these scary dreams during the most stressed out period of my life. these dreams lead me into buying a book on dreams to understand what dreams mean. In this book I learnt how it will be useful if we jot down our dreams , first thing in the morning. Guess I took it too seriously and jotted down a small book full of dreams.
After effect : No matter how many times I read it, it doesn’t make any sense to me. But awestruck about the world we enter in our sleep. Its crazy, complex, impractical . Yet feels so real.
These are few of many times I decided to write. Till date I have always enjoyed it every single time and it just occurred to me that every time I actually ‘Wrote’ in a book. No typing or editing involved like blogging. Yet, ‘Writing never went wrong’ literally or metaphorically 🙂